I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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