i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
