how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
