She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize
