And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
