So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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