you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize