Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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