He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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