At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
