We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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