I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
