Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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