It's Friday. Sex?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
