Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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