My room smells like vodka and shame
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
