so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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