just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize