he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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