We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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