I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
