I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
