Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize