There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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