Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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