seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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