It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
