i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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