I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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