She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
