He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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