it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Operation Purity has been aborted
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
