I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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