Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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