just come out here and I will go home with you...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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