I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize