She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
