so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
