I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
