Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
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So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
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I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize