I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
