it was like his penis was on wheels.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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