FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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