This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
