i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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