i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
