He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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