i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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