just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
God I need to hump something, right now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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