every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
it was like eating out sand paper
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
