Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
