I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We are all done wearing pants today
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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