fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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