i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
