She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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