Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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