Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think a kid would responsible me up
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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