I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
love makes seman taste better
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Two words: blizzard sex
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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