Buhtt sex?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
