Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
