so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
