i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
