The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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