dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
